journeying onMay 12, 2015
If I were to map my life’s journey it would be clear to see how often I visited the little town of Confused. That place of great uncertainty, where fear threatens each moment begging to be acknowledged. I only recognize the fear from past experience when I thought we were friends. When I invited it in not knowing who he truly was. And I fed him well until he refused to leave and he slept with me at night and kept me company by day. He introduced me to his friends doubt and shame. Under his influence I nearly tossed my map aside and I nearly gave up on my journey. I awoke one day without fear. I stepped outside to find hope and dreams had been waiting all this time. They hadn’t given up on me as I made a few wrong turns. It was I who had laid them by the wayside, but they had found me. I tried to rush off quietly so that we could get away before fear and doubt woke up and chased my dear hope and dreams away. They would not hear of it. At their insistence we stepped back inside. I pulled up the blinds and threw open the window. The giant that had taken over my life proved nothing in the direct light of day. The bully cowered in the presence of hope and dreams then scurried away, disappearing down a dark alley. My old friends reminded me that this is the home that I had built. Fear had me think I was lost and that I was nowhere, when in reality I was exactly where I should be. Fear had made me think I was powerless, when I was at the center of my place of power. Fear nearly encouraged me to run from this. Had I run I might never have found my place again. For it would have been all too easy to mistake running from myself as the journey I was on.