Billz Blob

Billz Blob
We are all unique and amazing. With this notion bouncing around inside me I offer to the world what I have to share. The words inside my head have reached to overflowing and in an attempt to keep from exploding I have taken to writing. What follows is the result of purging my mind. If you like what you see, SUBSCRIBE at the top of the page.

Category: BF

Life is unpredictable

Jul 21, 2018

A little while ago i began writing about grief. I was writing about my discoveries on grief. The writings began with my the death of a close friend and how that death made me shudder, how that death made me re-think living. Not that I had any intention to stop living, I began to look at living very differently. Three weeks ago today my mother died suddenly thrusting me into a revisioning of living after the death of someone close. As I begin my writing will reflect the hole that is in my emotional being and what living with that hole is. Stay tuned as I dropped nuggets of this process.


living life

Jul 16, 2018

My blog well has been dry recently. I have been busy living life in the aftermath of my mother's death. Life continues the same as it ever was, it is the living that has become hard. My mother was, one of if not, my best friend. We spoke on the phone daily and sometimes five or six times in a day. (there were many days like that) I continue to work. I continue to care for my children. I have a small hole in my heart where my mother, in her physical form, once was. I am at peace with her death. I am at peace with her life. I miss our conversations. I miss her intrusions, I miss her in my life, even though she is now more present in my life than she ever could have been in life, I miss the soul filled human that was her. I now set out to discover who I am without her here.


sometimes life interferes with life

May 10, 2018

I am keeping up with the challenge I have waged on myself of writing a poem a day. And in the process I become aware of the speed bumps and obstacles that can be placed in our path to success. While I have kept up with the challenge I have not kept up with posting those poems to my blog. In this revelation I can identify how I placed an unnecessary obstacle of posting in two places in order to validate my task. When in actuality the task was to write. Posting the writing is an extra added bonus or an additional opportunity for failure. An easy add on that impedes the probability of success. In identifying this speed bump I am given a reference point from which to look back over my life and see similar patterns. I do not find it hard to find the similar. In assessing the pattern I pose the question to myself "How do I do differently?" How do I create a new pattern of success?". I am struck with the realization that identifying the pattern is the first step of doing differently. Identifying may not break the pattern yet I realize it is the start. I also realize that I have presented to myself the need to do different and identify that makes me at least two steps along the this path of my journey. Along this journey the learning never stops as long as the living is happening.

Dreamcatcher BF

a poem a day (5/3/18)

May 3, 2018

Embracing the divine is to know
hope is not an action
being is as powerful as doing,
every law can be broken or re-written,
miracles occur regularly,
love never causes hurt.

Dreamcatcher BF

I too am Compassionate Creativity

May 3, 2018

Spring has finally settled in. The warm weather has hopefully truly claimed it’s place and the creative juices have begun rising like the sap. That was an attempt at poetic prose since the creative juices in me never seem to cease. There is always some outlet that needs to be accessed as a release valve for the creativity that constantly wells up inside me. I am currently editing the audiobook of a dear friend. We recorded the audio last year with sessions once a week over a couple of months. It was quite a fulfilling experience listening to Kali speak her words from the book each session. Now I get to revisit the words again as I listen to soul touching stories of her book “I Am Compassionate Creativity”. Many of the stories resonate at a deep personal level, although the stories of Kali’s life there is a common thread that is also in me. Each day I work on the project I am fortified by the words and the content. I am encouraged to boldly be me. I am empowered to find my authentic voice each day. I am eager to complete this work so that more people can have the chance to experience Kali’s powerful message in another way. As my creative juices flow I reflect and identify that audio editing was not something I set out to do as a creative outlet and yet here it is.

Dreamcatcher BF

a poem a day (5/2/18)

May 2, 2018

with each new day dawns new opportunities,
new aromas to smell new food to taste,
fashioned from our mind new worlds new cities, 
bringing yesterday's sadness and sorrow into this new would be a waste.

Dreamcatcher BF
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