Billz BlobWe are all unique and amazing. With this notion bouncing around inside me I offer to the world what I have to share. The words inside my head have reached to overflowing and in an attempt to keep from exploding I have taken to writing. What follows is the result of purging my mind. If you like what you see, SUBSCRIBE at the top of the page.
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nothing / no placeSep 9, 2016
I just went to a most amazing place. A place I have feared to go. What I feared was the unknowing of what I would find. I have always known the general vicinity of this place yet did not know it’s exact location. Well, I found it. I so wish to share it with the world and that is impossible. For sharing it destroys it. Sharing it complicates the understanding and awareness of what it is. Today I went nowhere and experienced nothing. Technically I was somewhere but in the moment everything dropped away. Everything dropped away. There was no baggage, no fear, no expectation, no story, no color, no shape, no hope, no desire. Describing nothing is a process of illuminating what isn’t there. Everything isn’t there. It is calm. That is the only description I have. It is calm. Everything remains at the fringe of this place keeping it in perfect balance, keeping it calm. I have finally given myself permission to enter, however brief, however fleeting in the nothing.
Dreamcatcher BF |
The power of wordsAug 7, 2016
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.
This resonated poorly with me as a child and still resonates poorly with me.
Long before I had heard this saying my soul had been nearly crushed by a word. As a result I feared words. I did not want to wield them clumsily and possibly crush someone else’s soul. As I grew older I also discovered we individually place weight on words, we individually add power or meaning to words. I can give a word the power to destroy me. I can also give power to a word to buoy me out of the depths of despair. Which makes me question Do the words actually have power? Or is the power added by each of us as we receive? Do we empower the words to harm us? Do we empower the words to strengthen us? We have to answer these question for our self, individually. While I work toward my answers I will purposefully work to put together words that educate, empower and entertain. And I will infuse my words with the essence of my soul.
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untitledJul 16, 2016
Before they spoke my name
I existed in a place where words had no meaning
Everything existed on purpose
We were all connected
Each of us was all of us
and all of us were unique
For without each individual there could be no whole
what is now called living was once called flowing
my being explained my doing
and my doing did not define me
words now cross my lips
meanings cloud my mind
my doing confuses my being
when I emerged into this world
this piece became the whole
separated from the all
all became unclear
the flow forgot to flow
words were needed to define
meanings became necessary to explain
it all seemed to happen
when they spoke my name.
Dreamcatcher BF |
overflowingJul 8, 2016
Stand facing the sun
stand facing the moon
for one is not the opposite of the other
each one is
stand facing your friend
stand facing your enemy
for one is not the opposite of the other
each is what we choose them to be
look all around you
look deep within you
if you can see the beauty within you
you will definitely find the beauty around you
when you find the love within you
you will share that love with all around you
it is the sharing that makes that love grow
it is the sharing that makes love grow
it is the loving that makes it all worthwhile.
Dreamcatcher BF |
creativeJun 24, 2016
I inhale life asthmaticly,
straining to breathe
as my soul contorts
pressing against the walls of my being
striving to expand
struggling to become more me
more divine
creativity wells up
fear sits reluctantly in the corner begging for attention.
hope permeates the entirety of my space as a vapor
my eyes are open yet unaware of place
my mind is open filled with GOD's grace
I must breathe
I must breathe
my life depends on it.
Dreamcatcher BF |
In my eyesMay 24, 2016
I twist my head
then crane my neck
the shadow engulfs me cooling the air as it does
my breathing quickens, and quickens
my heart races like a squirrel in taps shoes crossing a marble floor
determined and fearful
exposed and over prepared
I am supposed to be here
racing heart
rapidly expanding and contracting lungs
my thoughts, droplets of water within a vapor cloud
where am I?
I am supposed to be here
the shadow is me
I am the shadow that envelopes me
is there meaning in this?
here I stand
so why am I not here?
where am I?
I am supposed to be here.
I am rapt in the thought of me wrapped in the thought of me.
I twist and crane to get a glimpse of me until I stop
realizing that of all that I see the one thing I will never lay my gaze upon is me.
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