Billz Blob

Billz Blob
We are all unique and amazing. With this notion bouncing around inside me I offer to the world what I have to share. The words inside my head have reached to overflowing and in an attempt to keep from exploding I have taken to writing. What follows is the result of purging my mind. If you like what you see, SUBSCRIBE at the top of the page.

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Life is unpredictable

Jul 21, 2018

A little while ago i began writing about grief. I was writing about my discoveries on grief. The writings began with my the death of a close friend and how that death made me shudder, how that death made me re-think living. Not that I had any intention to stop living, I began to look at living very differently. Three weeks ago today my mother died suddenly thrusting me into a revisioning of living after the death of someone close. As I begin my writing will reflect the hole that is in my emotional being and what living with that hole is. Stay tuned as I dropped nuggets of this process.


Fables July 11th

Jul 17, 2018

Here is the recording of my story from the July 11 Fables storytelling night at Next Stage cafe in Putney, VT.


living life

Jul 16, 2018

My blog well has been dry recently. I have been busy living life in the aftermath of my mother's death. Life continues the same as it ever was, it is the living that has become hard. My mother was, one of if not, my best friend. We spoke on the phone daily and sometimes five or six times in a day. (there were many days like that) I continue to work. I continue to care for my children. I have a small hole in my heart where my mother, in her physical form, once was. I am at peace with her death. I am at peace with her life. I miss our conversations. I miss her intrusions, I miss her in my life, even though she is now more present in my life than she ever could have been in life, I miss the soul filled human that was her. I now set out to discover who I am without her here.



Jun 13, 2018

Life is neither easy nor hard it just is. It seems to be what it isn't when we imagine it to be other than what it is. Removing expectation allows Life to be what it is.

tweet tweet

May 17, 2018

#ApoemAday continues on twitter. I am continuing my campaign to write a poem a day as a twitter post each morning. I will continue as long as the spirit moves me. Check it out, like it, retweet it, make a comment. You can find me on twitter  @actorbat. 

a morning thought...

May 17, 2018

Step into your higher self. I am not sure I could say more pretentious words, yet what if there is truth to the words? And what if the words I speak are spoken to me? Well, now that I share this it no longer is just for me because I have shared it with you. The doubt that I have just expressed keeps me from “stepping into my higher self”. The doubt only serves as a backpack full of lead where the parachute could possibly be, where the parachute needs to be. The craziest part of this whole dilemma is that it is a wholly internal struggle. I know that as I recognize my struggle each face I look into faces their own internal struggle some as metaphysically simple as mine others physically life threatening. Acknowledging the other struggles does not diminish my own, it give another perspective by which to view it. The new perspective is also distraction from the process. Acknowledging the others does not attend to stepping into my higher self. Or what the heck it means to step into my higher self. Approaching the statement fuels the questions of what does it mean? How is it possible? How will I know if I have done it? And asking the questions I recognize marks my map as being no where near to my goal. The more I work this out the more it feels that I am attempting to untangle a knotted ball of twine from the middle with the ends attached. A difficult task but not impossible. 

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